I recently left a comment on a selfie that a young woman I love posted on Instagram. I passed on Carrie Fisher’s famous quote, “Youth and beauty are not achievements”. I didn’t think about it for long because it’s a line I use a lot on my own children when I want to remind them that they are so much more valuable than the outside world, or how society defines beauty.
I dropped the comment and went about my business without thinking that she would notice among the others – but she did. We all get that one comment among the positives that brings us down. Embarrassingly, I was making this one inappropriate and unnecessary comment.
When I was called to do this, I really took some time to think about it: why did I post this? As a feminist, it is really inappropriate for me to comment on other women’s choices. I realized I had something to do.
I’ve come up with the usual excuses – I don’t want teenagers to worry about their looks, I want to encourage them to share more diverse content, and I don’t want them to see their worth based on social likes Measure media ”. But those are the excuses. What a woman posts on HER social media account is none of my business and I certainly have nothing to do to judge its content.
Working as a feminist is a journey. It’s messy, complicated, and there’s a lot of room for error – especially when you’re trying to incorporate it into your parenting. I have a lot to learn, of course – there will be mistakes, there will be excuses, there will be lessons learned. This path is not always easy, but it is worth it. I am grateful to those who have the grace to remind us of our blind spots and guide us along the way.